Last night in process group at IOP, a gentleman shared a glimpse of his perspective with us on recovery~ For me, not only could it relate to recovery, but any decision going on in every day life that requires trust, faith and courage~
He and his friend were walking down the street when they encountered his friend's daughter- an addict, homeless, and hopeless consuming her first meal of the day, gummy worms, in the heat of the late afternoon. Her mother, understanding all that entails, suggested she go to the hospital and ask for help, knowing they would take her in immediately and help her get well. Her daughter replied, "It's just not that simple." From an outsider’s perspective, it IS just that simple mechanically. And it can be very frustrating for the person watching us going through our struggles (eating disorder, alcohol, gambling, relationships, drugs etc.) when we do not accept their advice.
But
to the inward self conflicted with addiction, this concept is much easier said than
done. As much as we wish desperately that we could ‘just stop,’ IT has become
the only way we know how to survive. We are stuck between a rock and a hard
place. We logically understand we will die if we keep doing what we are doing, but we feel that if we cease our behaviors...we will die. Damned if we do, damned if we don't. Thus, our first step towards seeking recovery and trying to take the steps necessary towards helps is like this scene from the third movie in the Indiana Jones series. He is trying to retrieve the Holy Grail and before him is a massive precipice, deterring him from his goal- this prized possession. To the viewers eye, we can see the path laid out before him and know it is safe to step out. But to Mr. Jones, it looks unfathomable. It would seem to him that if he steps off this cliff into the chasm, he will plunge to his death. Yet, he knows he must trust that to successfully get to the other side, he must take that first leap of faith.
This step of faith is all too familiar to us humans we venture out into life and live each day, beginning our journey EVERY morning striving towards our goal~ the Holy grail of LIFE, This life we hear is promised with sobriety and serenity. This life we read in books and is described to us by our sponsor and friends who have trudged this road before us. The choice then becomes ours to take in EVERY situation we face in life. Will we take the leap of faith and trust there is an outside force protecting our well-being? Will we stay stagnant, paralyzed by our fear of change, unable to move, until we are finally caught by our fast-approaching demons and slaughtered? Or will we stop abruptly, turn around, and cower in our corner and hide? Staying captive to our greatest fears.
Today, I choose to face the fear. Life…trust me it is not all rainbows and butterflies. But it is better than death. And my worst day in recovery is still better than my best day in my addictions.
~Journey on, brave one. There will be solice in the end.
This step of faith is all too familiar to us humans we venture out into life and live each day, beginning our journey EVERY morning striving towards our goal~ the Holy grail of LIFE, This life we hear is promised with sobriety and serenity. This life we read in books and is described to us by our sponsor and friends who have trudged this road before us. The choice then becomes ours to take in EVERY situation we face in life. Will we take the leap of faith and trust there is an outside force protecting our well-being? Will we stay stagnant, paralyzed by our fear of change, unable to move, until we are finally caught by our fast-approaching demons and slaughtered? Or will we stop abruptly, turn around, and cower in our corner and hide? Staying captive to our greatest fears.
Today, I choose to face the fear. Life…trust me it is not all rainbows and butterflies. But it is better than death. And my worst day in recovery is still better than my best day in my addictions.
~Journey on, brave one. There will be solice in the end.