I have been "in recovery" for 6 months. And by "in recover" I mean, actively trying to get my life back from the pits of hell I was in....also known as my E.D. ugh.
Honestly, tonight I feel just NASTY. Im just gonna throw out alllll the words E.D. is callin me right now~ cause it is soooo friggin loud! FAT, UGLY, DISGUSTING, FAILURE, CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!, PIGGGG,STUPID, HIDEOUS, BLOB, GOOP (i dont even know what that means...i just feel like it....) WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING, IDIOT!!!!! PLAYDOUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
REVOLTING, LAZY, HEINOUS, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT!!!!
Frick. After 6 months i thought the voices would shut up. HE IS SOOOOO LOUD TONIGHT!
I WANT TO RUNNNNNN I NEVER WANT TO LOOK AT FOOOOOOD AGAINNNNNN
why!!! why why why.....I feel like a monster. I pity those close to me. I suck. Im controlling and a jerk and i yell at my brothers and I cause pain and anger and disappointment and regret. Im not making a difference. Im just taking up space with my doughy-ness.
I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I AM CLUMSY AND AWKWARD AND I SAY THE WRONG THINGS AND GIVE THAT "TONE" AND GET WEIRD LOOKS AND I LOOK JUST WEIRD
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ok I need to stop...Im sorry all. :/
