I have been here about a week now in beautiful Montana staying with this wonderful family. I wake up every morning to smiling faces, beautiful mountains, and a warm wood stove greeting me~
What a gift it is to be shown all these skills I was never given the opportunity of learning growing up from two busy parents. My little "mommy" here has been keeping me busy by giving me lots of options and activities to do during the day: Kids church, babysitting, chores- which she hardly gives me :/ , bible studies, devotions, painting, scrap booking, cooking, etc. She has been amazing! She is even teaching me how to play the piano! The Mr. has been teaching me backgammon and Dutch Blitz! I get to hang with my old friend here, too when she is not busy working, making bank!
It has been an amazing blessing! Recovery has been good...not easy mentally....but I am following a meal plan (amazing!) and ONLY doing the amount of activity I have been limited to....which has been freaking TORTUROUS!! But I know if I keep acting out it wont get me anywhere...sigh. Such a mental battle.
So the question has now been posed...Do I go back home and try to maintain this good "Streak" or do I stay with this family who has, by the grace of God, offered me to continue staying with them. I want to do whats best for recovery, my family, for this family...Ugh. I don't know WHAT I am supposed to be doing with my life..what the "right" answer is. I am so black and white and I live in this gray world.So how do I adapt now that all my vices are gone? Still learning...still growing...still trying to hang in there- taking one day at a time. It is amazing the love and kindness I have been shown here, how showered with prayer I am.
I am so blessed. Yet, I feel so guilty and undeserving and can only say THANK YOU.
If my readers have thoughts on all of this, your input is more than welcome :) <3
God bless you today!
