Fail~

I feel like the failed anorexic. I feel like I will never be able to starve myself the way others do. Torture myself enough. Be small enough. I feel like all the people I met in rehab are going backwards. Losing weight. Going back into treatment. Walking the thin line of death once again. And I'm actually angry and disgusted with myself. And for the fact that I am at home and...well cant. I eat food. I crave things. I indulge. I feel like a glutton. I feel weak. I feel ashamed and guilty for the fact that I'm not running or purging. I feel ED screaming inside me telling me how out of control I am. What a failure I am. Flesh. Skin. This all feels so wrong.